Online dating texting scams
The same for me Andrea it felt too good to be true. They are very good at what they do. Mine was an American with a beautiful daughter which drawed me in. Luckily after 6 days I reported him. Spoke on the phone and that was the first warning sign and then there was an error message for video call. I wanted him to confirm his identity. So upsetting just after 6 days and scary. It's been posted, but my credit card company is investigating. I didn't renew my subscription and this has been a shock. I spent 2 hours on the phone, they deny they are responsible, are you kidding me? I intend not to let these criminals do this to me.
Stay away from this site. I get contacted 10 to 1 by scammers on Tinder and POF. It's disheartening and I think the sites should do more to weed them out. I feel like they don't care Is there any dating site that has a way to protect regular users?? I would be willing to pay more for it! Met a beautiful young woman clue 1 on Tinder clue 2. Recent loss of boyfriend clue 3 of her 4yo daughter clue 4. In the Armed services, out of the country clue 5.
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I will not go on. I saw them, identified them as questionable and still proceeded. I Stopped at clue 56! Stop at Clue 2. If its too good to be true? Your not that unique! Meet a guy on Tinder goes by the name Michael. Said he works for the UN in New York in the anti-terrorist department and he is leaving to go to Pakastan for work.
If it wasn't for my co-workers I may have not picked up on it. He asked me for my email to keep in touch while he was away. I still wasn't sure about him so I created a fake account and gave him that email. I suggested we talk on the phone before he left on his assignment as he called it. Once he called me I knew right away he was not who he said he was. I deleted the fake email account, let him know I knew he was a scammer and I blocked him from my phone. The one good think is I already have a fraud alert on my account due to passed experience.
From what I was told this happens quite often. Be careful out there. If they start telling you a story that seems to good to be true or so sad you feels sorry for them, chances are they are trying to scam you. I suggest to anyone that if you are going to do online dating. Get some type of fraud alert first. It will be the best money you spend. I would rather spend my money the way I want than have them take me for everything I worked for. Can someone suggest what I can do about it?
I don't know what you can do about it, but most the time they change names frequently. I've seen the same scammer that tried to scam me on a new profile with a different name. She gave me her profile name as Sophiee69 also her mobile number as on which she messages via Whatsapp. So i went back onto tinder, having read your article about Bots. She's deleted her interest in me. And the one even texted me. And when I asked him I call The one guy looked huge and said he was a lightweight boxer. Met a guy named Ellen David. Claimed from Houston, Texas. Very charming, kind heart person and loving.
Dear, honey, baby is the world he called you. I missed you, i love you is his everyday words to you. But beware, after 2 weeks chat, he said his mother falled sick and into coma. Planning to come to my country to buy some goods. After he claimed he reached my country, the tail tales began. Handphone brokes, asked to buy local top up phone so that he can talked to the doctor that treat his mum. But still he can talked to me through whatsapp.
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And finally, had issue on his travellers cheques and therefore cannot buy his goods. He start asked to bank in money to another account claimed as the owner of the goods company. And later asked to transfer money from his account to mine. And need to pay for transaction tax in my currency money through another account. But he never wants to see me even in my own country! Be careful for all ladies out there. I dont know this guy is for real or what. Sometimes his slang is no longer american but african instead especially when he was angry. Need to report to the authority about this scam.
Hi my name is Donna I met a man on tinder and have been talking to him on viber for 4 weeks now. He has been romantic and just overwhelming with his comments and trapped me with his kindness , his name on tinder is Larry Chris Anthony but I believe he has scammed many women under many names but the same pictures. He says he has a son in France called Peter who is He says he is an oil engineer and is now on a rig. He then supposedly brought me some items in Doha and sent them in a parcel thru Worldtransitcourier.
They then contacted me with airways bill etc and now parcel is supposedly in turkey and they want from me to release it. Donna do you have any photos of Larry. I started talking to a guy who fits your description. He has started asking for Itune cards. I matched with a man named Fred. He is very good-looking and said he was a commercial airline pilot.
He sent me pictures of him in the cockpit so I believed him.
How to Avoid a Romance Scam When Using Online Dating Sites
So we message each other for a few days. He asked if he could contact me on Kik but I told him I would gave him my cell. I explained to him that if he did not want to give me his cell number I understood. He said no problem. He texted me from his number. On the third day I told him I was going to run errands and he asked me to buy him a rose at the store.
I thought maybe was being funny cute. And he immediately changed his mind and asked me to buy an Apple card instead so we could talk on the phone with each other. I Reminded him he had my phone number. He answered me that he will explain everything to me later. I was suspicious but went along with him just to see what else he would send me in the text message.
He was asking me about what stores are close to me and I told him I could get one at Publix. Of course I had no intention of buying one in the first place. He text me about an hour later asked me what I was doing I told him I was out having dinner. And hour later I text him and told him I had the card and what should I do. He told me to scratch it off and send a picture of the number on the back to him. I told him it was a scam and one of his worst giveaways was using the word AINT. AND any pilot is going to have a phone they can call anywhere usually, especially in the US.
So I told him to send me a real picture of him and what does he really look like? He acted dumb and has not contacted me again. Met an American called Chase living in Leeds, then he was Chase Terry but working in the states this week, then he said Terry will look after you. Moved to Skype very quickly then it was a bad connection and he gave me a foreign number to ring on from my landline which I declined. He has not been in touch for two days so am ready to delete him.
He also told me he had a daughter his only family age 15 then talked about spending time with his son, when question his son had died. Other stuff checked out when I asked which school she went to in Leeds but Google makes it easy to find info. Hi I am in talks with man on Tinder called M. He asks to go and chat on WhatsApp He is a widow. I fell for a scam with a man who claimed to be a petro chemical engineer. Alleged to be based on an oil rig in Kuwait.
I wasted 3 months trying to help him so we could meet. I involved the Police in the end. He was operating from an email address in Nigeria. It was a scam. I lost a lot of money. I recently matched with a gorgeous woman of course , going by Ada, a Pediatrician who moved here from Israel 3 years ago. The day after we matched and exchanged a few messages she had to fly out to Boston with her 23 son. She said she would message me when she returned in a day or two. Well she returned and said she had bad experiences with meeting the wrong people and that I should go and read her profile on a site called dandyfinder.
There is no such site.. She gives the profile of Lizale5. So instead of trying to find another way to find this dandy finder site I instead searched the internet for a Lizale5 which is a common scam profile. I recently retired from a small government agency called the NSA.
Dating & romance
Finding myself bored in retirement, I now have a pet project that I focus on. And average security company does not have the ability to track the catfisher to its real root I got the exact same scenario, differing names of course and it looks like they've started right around the same time. Wow - just matched on tinder with "Llana" also from israel with a 20 year old son, similar trip to boston for a few days and then back with a request to look her up on adultfriendfinder with a profile name of lizale5. This week with Nancy same story but 5 year old moved to Tallahassee Fla from Boston etc etc Pediatrician posted up on profile and reported to tinder..
I said to him I have no money I gave him a piece of my mind this morning. And blocked him and then deleted him off tinder I have been so upset over this I have not got any confidence in this site so I have unsubscribed.
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Watch out for Alexa 46 on Tinder. After I confronted her about this she deleted her profile on Tinder. Also goes by Holly on Tinder and is French and has a daughter. Adult Friend finder name of Lizale5. I was acanmed out of itune voucher. I reported it to police. It was a fake identity overseas who cashed it. They play on your vulnerability. Your information saved me.
Thanks for giving info on bots, scam and catfish. I was about to be trapped but my intuition and your info helps me. She is 41, her name Kiela and divorced then she is 46 years, has 17 years old daughter, going to Vancouver to see her family. Came back and asked me to go to website keyfriendfinder.
It forwarded me to Adult friend finder website. It is a scam. I was asked to supply bank info to her so she could get her money out of her country. In short order I learned the bank accounts got closed and there were overdrafts, the investment house sent a letter wishing the client best wishes since these accounts got liquidated. The owner of the accounts was all pissed. Now I'm seeing people can get their money back they lost over the internet.
How do you do that even if the accounts weren't yours to begin with? Hi, I have met many scammers on line, They normally sweet talk you for months on end. Then say after 3 months they come up with all kinds of excuses about why they need cash. One chap claimed he was on a oil rig and His expensive digger equipment fell into the sea. As soon as I said I had no funds, He disappeared into thin air. Another chap in New York, claimed he lost his wallet, he left it in a cafe apparently.
So I said did you report it to the police? Another time the same chap "William Koch" claimed that he was in hospital and needed funds for a operation. Another us army officer claimed his son was ill and needed cash to help him. All these men disappear once they realise there is no money for them. I find British men are even worse, because a lot seem to take pride in showing their private parts off. Its a shame that there is not a sex site where men pay up front before being rude and offensive to women.
It makes it very difficult to meet a true genuine partner. So I recently started talking to a woman from Ghana who found my profile on a site We have video chatted a few times on Hangouts and it is the same person in the pics that were sent to me It took a couple of weeks before I was asked for money to pay for a passport renewal Then for a medical examination to be able to leave the country. Reluctantly I sent the money with her promising to send me proof which she has done.
Now though she is telling me that there is a police background check that she has to do and after that she can travel here to the states I have told her that I can not send anymore money as I am behind on bills and still getting my life together from a divorce earlier this year, she then says ok no worries and that she will figure it out Has not asked for any more money but still talks to me everyday and still video calls me I thought at first it was a scam but then little things seemed to real to be fake.
It has been 4 days since I told her no and she still gets ahold of me to talk and get to know each other better. She says her name is Sherry Walker and I have seen that name on scam reports but with different pictures and what not Keep in mind I have seen her quite a few times because we do video chat and is the same person in the pictures that have been sent Has anyone else here been contacted by a 27yr old with a certificate in accounting from Ghana named Sherry Walker? Not sure what to do as I am not sending anymore money and she says she will figure it out Should I wait to see if she really does come up with it and comes here or should I cut her off?
Other than the passport renewal nothing has been a flag and like I said she is willing to come up with costs on her own Is this normal in scams? Usually the scammers are using prerecorded videos of a nice woman, and are playing that video for you. And always it is some trouble with the webcam's microphone, so you could never conversate with the spoken word with "her".
You could easy check if the Hangout is in realtime. Ask "her" to put "her's" one, or both hands somewhere on "her's" face. If she wouldn't do that, or ask if you don't trust "her", then "she" is surely a guy playing with your feelings. And don't get involved in further converstion. Remember also that when you are showing yourself on webcam, the scammer is surely recording you, to use your video to scamm other people, possible a lonely women. So take precasuion that "she" is not prerecorded, before show yourself on a webcam.
Watch out for military or police women. Or any make that says he is a Legionnaires.. I am one we where taught from selection to lie and steal. If a woman will not look up what your Regement is she real? Most soldiers will not give there picture out No Legionare will give his picture. It is not right to our Code of Conduct. And as I have said before, military personnel have financial backers, even if it is by mates. And when my uncle did die, The Legion was going to send me home And not on a CF A real airline, and I was in Chad when that happened, so I know that, but if a Canadian is not polite, not a Canadian!
No Canuk talks like than unless we are playing stupid to a Yanky. This has happened with me too! What should I do? She is a scammer I should know I have used by a guy using ericrodi on instagram for money he has destroyed my life My name is Debbie from NY if you just want to talk my instagram is princessme send friend request t. Ericrodi is a scammer from Lagos Nigeria who has hurt me deeply his real name is Eric Olu akande. He is not white like what he said my name is Debbie on instagram I am Missghettoville if you want to reach me. Dude the worst for me was a Ghana chick, or being on Victoria Hearts.
Now my own profile is being used to scam women. And I hate that. She phoned me at Every single thing I wanted and lusted after she could fulfil. Did she like other women? Oh yes and she gave me some Oscar winning sex talk. Did she like me? We met up and she was beyond beautiful a clone of the pop singer Amii Stewart.
What could possibly go wrong? What gave it away? A total lack of any respect for my time, breaking appointments, not keeping her word, having excuses for everything and finally her blaming me when she was in the wrong. I've just been scammed by a guy he payed me compliments and told me he loved me and I believed him I fell in love with him stupidly had cybersex with him and told him a lot of info I got suspicious after he asked for money and he kept saying his phone battery was dying and he often left the conversation after I would not give him what he wanted the money the I tunes card he so wants I told him I can't afford to and I was depressed from him blanking me and making me feel guilty don't fall for it it's all crap block them please don't them get in to your heart and do what it's done to me I'm now so depressed and heartbroken a mess save yourself before it gets to serious.
I know in my heart he is a scammer but then I question myself. He asked me for a gift card and then to help with money and back to school supplies. I refused each time and blocked him on Hangouts but he texted me and promised he would never ask me for money again so I unblocked him. It has got pretty steamy between us and he has sent me pictures of his private parts but I have refused to send any nude photos of myself. Is there any harm just going along with it for fun? I met this guy on the dating site a month a go.
He said he is currently deployed i Nigeria. Just the way goes on getting to know each other process asking such questions. He said he was divorsed having a 3 year old daughter. He said he ia from SD. His deployment will end this Oct. He also mentioned he was just connecting to his roommate's wifi. He call each other everyday via whatsapp but no video, since he saod is banned. I told him i could not raise it. He wanted me to send money to his commanders info.
I said i cannot, he gave me a bitcoin code rather. Hope someone can check for me; I got his pictures that he sent if that is really him. Is this a scam. Soldiers make enough money I used to be one I know this, and we have financial assistance. My problem is I use my original email account. I get blamed as being a scammer and even blocked sometimes I've had a very similar experience. My scammer is in the Italian Army based in Poland on deployment until next November. I sent nothing and stopped all contact. I've also reported this to the online fraud team here in the U. And closed down all my social media accounts as they had some personal data about me.
How can I block someone that I think is trying to scam me on my email chat without this person knowing it hes always asking me to send him money,I think he also has a fake marriage certificate made up wanting me to sign of which I have refused I have refused to send any money but how can I block this person without him knowing it,he has lead me to believe he wants to marry me. Never use your real and private e-mail when you are conversating with people you have never met. Register a new e-mail at Gmail, Hotmail or Yandex, only for "dating" purpose.
Within a month, I have had two men try scamming me. The first ones' name was Francis P. He began by asking me to email him. He then asked me to close my dating site account, I am assuming that was to test my willingness to trust him. He always said he had work to do and couldn't meet with me but I e would soon. He then only emailed and texted me when he only lived 20 mins away. He "couldn't" even meet me for coffee. He then tells me the next week that he will be in Germany for 6 weeks. He said both his biological parents were Italian, then why was his last name William.
I seriously doubted he would be in any type of witness protection program. Btw, he told me he loved me within the first couple days. Sent me pictures of his kids, everything. He video chatted with me for 50 seconds two or three times. Everyday his emails became more affectionate and racy. Finally around the third week he tells me a part for work was shipped broken and he had to gather as much money as possible to pay for a new one. I also found a pic he sent me, he said HE took this pic.
I found it on the internet. I reported him to the FBI. THEN, shortly after that, I got involved with another piece of garbage. The name he used was Michael Asare. The picture was great, but later that night when he sent another photo it didn't match. Before that, he once again, asked me for my password, so that he could cancel my dating site. I said I will do it as its no big deal to reinstate on match. On the website it said, ND.
I then asked him where he lived he said FL. He then said he was on business in Ghana. Had nasty attitude cuz I asked. Actor he thought he had smoothed things over he asked for my address. I gave him someone else's address. He said he had a surprise for me. I acted all excited.
As we were talking I am conducting research about him. Found 46 hits on a scammer website. I then cursed him out and called him a scammer and told him I was going to report him. I too have had the lovely pleasure of such scam artists. One a guy who was on an oil rig He never asked for money but wanted me to apply for him to come home on a leave The third is hard on me Was time to come home but government there wanted him to pay the income tax on the projected earnings before he left Good thing I am poor because I didn't have the money to send and told him so.
All three were sure I was the gal for them and that we would be together one day! OMG , I think you and i were scammed by the same guy. This guy had salt n pepper colored hair and a goatee. The first guy you mentioned Did he go by the name Gary Osmond? Wife died of breast cancer. On oil rig as a seismic interpretor? Has a son he leaves with nanny but won't say nanny's name.
Yes, I was recently scammed by a man who claimed to be American. He told me he was a civil engineer working in South Africa. He told me his wife had died from cancer. He also told me he wanted to marry me. I always suspected something was wrong. He asked for money help on the last e-mail. I called my sister and she reminded me it was a scam. I still had feelings for him, until that day. Please, be careful ladies. Scammers are looking for female victims, you say? Most scammers that have victimized me have been young females.
I met girl online skout app she gave me phone number I rang her she real she gave telegram messenger app we text each other all she wanted my money I look up Facebook no profile She want me transfer money into bank account she said she loves me want me is she scamming me money.
I'm writing because I have concerns that my aunt is currently being romanced by a scammer. She's 69, overweight, been divorced over 10 years, and hasn't dated at all in that time. She does have a 19 yr old daughter and has prob poured her time into that. But, she started talking to a guy on Our time. Within a couple days of making a profile. She's never been on a dating site before. He also has told her he will be traveling to Mexico soon for work.
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I think she said he has a scrap metal business. She ate that up. He says he has a sister that has cancer here in Alabama that he says he helps care for. He has a foreign accent, speaks broken English, and says his family is of German descent. He is younger, attractive, has photos he has sent her of a red Mercedes in front of a large home and of him driving a boat.
I Google image searched all of his photos with little luck. But, 2 of the photos matched seemingly fake LinkedIn profiles for a man with a different name. The guy on the profiles lives in LA, has a master's in engineering from Oxford, and is an account executive at the World Bank for 45 yrs. So, I sent those profiles to my aunt and she is supposedly done with him. Well he convinced her his former business partner embezzled all of his assets and scammed him.
He told her that is also why he has no social media presence. She totally believes it. We have tried to get her to video chat with him or to ask for a photo with her name and the date on it. I think she wants to continue living in Lala land. We just don't know how to get through to her. The guy in the pictures is way too attractive and young for her, so she probably doesn't want to mess it up is my guess.
I was like you've given him your address to send you a Teddy Bear and even if he is the guy in the photos he could be a criminal, convicted sex offender, etc. She says "he's so genuine and honest". If I Google image search doesn't find the pictures you are researching, use the other reverse imaging sites, as yandex. I have found that you have to use all three search enginees, to get the best chance to find any unknown photos. Remember also that make a new search some days after the first search. The image that the search sites find, is updated regulary.
Hi, I had this guy, who suddenly appear in my facebook sending me a friend request.. I checked his fb profile, and saw only very few post.. He told me, if we can chat on hangouts, so i said ok.. He is a widower, he has a 12 yr old son.. I was shocked because we did not know each other well.. I told him that I have a bf, and he never mind about it.. He said he was si busy, he only gets a vacation once every 4months.. I even uninstalled my hungots so that he cant disturb me anymore Yes that's a scammer.. Very good you spotted that he was from Nigeria. Everything else he told you was a lie.
I got a women from Nigeria telling me she was searching and find me and thought it would be nice to get to know me. I didn't think nothing of it until she started to love me already. It's been 1 month into this. Who ever is behind all of this has spent a lot of money in data. She contacts me every day. She's a student, works at salon and runs jewelry business as well.
The read Flag was that she said some guys came into the studio and said for , nira she could get a visa to US. You see all this is false the price is less than 60, Nira. I feel like this is such a waste of time. Then she send me a copy of her Nigerian passport. I have notice that it has errors in the spelling and birth year is looks like it was made from the number 6 instead of 9. Goes to show you what they would do for the money. I confronted her about all of this but she said what am I talking about. I doubt she's be coming here real soon. Because they never do, if you don't pay for it but even if you do they still won't come because they no you will keep sending the money.
Why leave your country to go and see the guy or girl sending you money for hopes, dreams and non-visit.. I therefore ask "her" to buy a webcam. And that I am pausing our conversation til I can see the person I am chatting with. Some of the "women" told me that they are working for UN i Syria, U. S Army and aren't allowed to use any webcam. A funny "woman" asked me to send money to her, to buy a webcam.
S, but we're living in U. I told her that I will buy her a webcam through a Internet-shop in U. K directly, if she give me her address where it could be delivered.
But she insisted that she wanted me to send money. But I had some success. At last, I meet a local girl, to my surprise, living in my neighborhood. Beware of a scammer using the name Katie Morgan claiming to live in Orlando Florida and has a daughter named Vera. This person will swear her undying love and may refer to you as her "King". If you say you're done with her she'll say she's going to commit suicide.
May even tell you she's either in the hospital or just got out of the hospital. I was caught in a romance scam for over a year. This person told me they lived in another state but would not call. Money was sent to this person several thousand dollars, as they told me they were divorced after her ex abandoned her and her daughter. After six months of being lied to this person "came clean" and told me her daughter was living with her aunt in the US and that her ex abandoned her in Nigeria with nothing but her luggage.
Then I was told it had met a lady that she'd became good friends with named Nneka and that I could send money to her in the name Katie Morgan Nneka. That was the final straw and I've since stopped talking to this person and changed my phone number. The're out there they want your money because they're the winner you are the loser. They have their own song about.
Never give them money, they will do everything they can to get your money. I smart they will never get it. I would like to see one of them actually fly here. Western Union is suppose to ask you how long you know this person and protect you from sending the money. You don't know this girl she's a fake and lair.
They just want the money nothing else matters just the money! Are you really trying to offer another scam on an article that talks about how to be aware of scams? Recommend deleting this post above. In this article they suggest a search, for someone you think may be trying to scam you, says the search is free The next screen asks for a credit card number and which option you'd like to use??
Why did the previous screen say 'free' if it's not actually free. That sounds like a scam right there. Google Reverse Image Search https: Yandex Reverse Image Search https: Bing Reverse Image Search http: TinEye Reverse Image Search https: I'm in contact with a orthopaedic doctor, who tells me his in Ukraine, we've been chatting every day for some time now. He constantly tells me how much i mean to him, but don't they all? Since joining a dating site, think I've had more scammers than hot dinners. I chat with him on viber, what should I do? Sounds like the best thing to do is just cease all contact.
All of that sounds like typical scam techniques, and it'll be easier to just cut off all communication. Wow that sounds very much like the man I've been talking to I met him on CatholicMatches. If he doesn't get the money he will lose the contract and not get paid for all his time, efforts and hard work and will not get paid as they will reassign the contract elsewhere. I could go on but it sounds like we're taking to the same man Beverly that sounds a lot like this guy that is communicating with me. Brian Reynolds with a heavy accent.
Needed an iTunes card to continue to chat since his phone card was getting low and couldn't leave his job site to buy one. There are a million of them out there. Sounds like a man I met on Match. He is on an oil rig and lost some equipment. Wanted me to send money to help pay for it. Now he is asking me to send money to help his daughter supposedly.
Hmmm wonder if he is the same man. Reading these posts I'm shocked to see how much scamming seems to be "a thing" now days. But this was different, a kind of manic euphoria. Will you appear someday. Or are you just a beautiful, exotic dream … if you are … I don't want to wake up! At the core of every romance scam is the relationship itself, a fiction so improbable that most of us initially marvel in disbelief: How do you fall in love — really fall in love — with someone you never meet?
Until the term "catfishing" crept into the vernacular, love affairs with digital impostors were little-known phenomena. The term comes from the documentary film Catfish , about a man with a girlfriend who, we learn, does not exist; it later inspired an MTV series.
Pretending to be someone else online is a social media parlor game among some young people. But Amy had never seen the show or heard the term; she had no idea the practice was so common. Computer-mediated relationships, she says, can be "hyperpersonal — more strong and intimate than physical relationships.
Research has shown that certain personality types are particularly vulnerable to romance scams. Unsurprisingly, age is a factor: Not only are older victims more likely to lose larger sums of money, there's evidence that our ability to detect deception declines with age. But when she surveyed scam victims in the U. These people tended to describe themselves as romantics and risk takers, believers in fate and destiny. Many, like Amy, were survivors of abusive relationships. Women were actually slightly less likely to be scammed than men — but were far more likely to report and talk about it.
The other term that Amy would later learn is "love bombing. In both situations, the victim's defenses are broken down by exhaustion, social isolation and an overwhelming amount of attention. Amy would later describe the feeling as akin to being brainwashed.
This is the painstaking grooming process that Enitan calls "taking the brain. When she came home from her trip to Florida over the holidays, Amy found a bouquet of flowers waiting for her, and a note:. Not long after this, slightly less than a month since his first contact, Dwayne brought up his money troubles.
But some components he purchased from Hong Kong were stuck in customs. He didn't need money, he assured her — he had a hefty trust fund in the U. But he couldn't use his funds to cover the customs fees. And he couldn't come back to Virginia until he finished the job. So, if there was any way Amy could help him out, he'd pay her back when he returned to the States. When Amy asked for proof of his identity, Dwayne sent copies of his passport and financial documents.
Finally, Dwayne set a day for his flight home and emailed his itinerary. He'd be there January Amy even bought tickets for their first real date — a Latin dance concert in a nearby city that night. And she told her brothers and her friends that they would finally get to meet this mystery boyfriend. But first, another problem came up: He had to pay his workers.
She had the money. And Dwayne knew it. Not exactly how much, perhaps. But he knew she owned her home and two other properties. He knew that her mother and husband had recently died. And he knew she was in love. January 25 came and went. A new problem delayed him; Amy took one of her friends to the concert. Dwayne apologized profusely and sent her more flowers, again with the promise to pay her back. Soon, he needed more money. This part of the con follows a familiar pattern.
The scammer promises a payoff — a face-to-face meeting — that forever recedes as crises and logistical barriers intervene. As February wore on, Amy was still telling friends that Dwayne was coming in a matter of days or weeks. But she never mentioned the money she was lending him. It's not that she was intentionally misleading anyone. Petition online dating sites to help stop scammers.
She'd get it back as soon as he came, of course. When doubt started to creep into her mind, she would look at his pictures or read his messages. Still, almost in spite of herself, she wondered. Little things seemed odd. Sometimes, out of the blue, he'd fire off a series of rapid-fire instant messages—"oh baby i love you" and so forth. It felt almost like she was talking to someone else. Another time, she asked what he had for dinner and was surprised to hear his answer—stir-fried chicken. To her relief, she got a photo moments later.
There he was, sitting on a bench in the sun on the other side of the world. Psychologists call this "confirmation bias" — if you love someone, you look for reasons they are telling the truth, not reasons they are lying. We tend to find what we are looking for. And Amy was looking, desperately, for reasons to trust Dwayne, because the money was really adding up.
Besides, he'd be there on February She planned to make dinner for him that first night. She bought all his favorite foods — fresh salmon, sourdough bread, a nice Merlot. The trip would take more than a day: He had to fly to Beijing, then Chicago, and finally connect to Virginia. He'd call her as soon as he got to Chicago. His last message was a brief text that he said he sent from the airport in Kuala Lumpur. Then, when the day finally came, Amy's phone remained silent, despite her efforts to get in touch.
Something must have gone wrong. Why hadn't he called or texted her back? She tried to tamp down the pinpricks of panic. When she collapsed into bed that night, she thought about how this had been the first day in almost three months that they hadn't spoken. Dwayne finally contacted Amy three days later.
He sent a single text. Something about being held up by immigration at the airport in Kuala Lumpur and needing money to bribe the officials. This was the third time that Dwayne had failed to show, the third last-minute catastrophe. Still, she wired him the money. Amy's sister-in-law was the first to figure it out. Phil show, in which the TV therapist confronted two women who claimed to be engaged to men they'd met online. Amy watched in growing horror. This was the same Beijing-bound route Dwayne had planned to be on earlier. As the story of the vanished airliner filled the airwaves, Amy couldn't help but worry that Dwayne had been aboard — maybe he'd managed to take a later flight?
Finally, he called her. But the call went to her home landline, not the mobile phone she'd been using. They spoke for only a few moments before it broke up. She was relieved but also disturbed — and curious. The daily siege of calls and emails and messages had ended. Suddenly, she wasn't tied up for hours every day. Alone with her thoughts for the first time in months, everything about their relationship seemed to blur.
One by one, she started feeding the photos Dwayne had sent her into Google's image search, trying to trace where else they might have come from. Eventually, up popped the LinkedIn page of a man with a name she'd never heard. Whoever Dwayne was, this wasn't him. She Googled "romance scam" and started reading. Even as she discovered the truth, part of her held out hope that her case was somehow different — that she was the lucky one. But the spell had broken. It was like waking up from a deep sleep — those strange moments when the dream dissolves and the real world comes rushing back.
Looking at the numbers, the figure seemed unreal. If you peruse the archives of Romancescams. In a decade, the site has collected about 60, reports, from men and women, young and old. Discover great deals and savings with AARP membership. Some of the most aggressive efforts to track down scammers have come from Australia. Brian Hay, head of the fraud unit of the Queensland Police Service in Brisbane, has orchestrated sting operations that have led to the arrest of about 30 scammers based in Malaysia or Nigeria.
But so dim are the chances of successfully finding offenders that, he admits, he rarely tells victims about these prosecutions: